Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Has my muse dried up?
I'm rather embarassed to admit this, but it's true. I've not had one creative idea to type on my laptop in more than a month now. I can blame it on a lot of different things, but ultimately summer weather is the true culprit. This time of year literally draws me outside to have fun in the sun. I love summer! Still, I can't help but feel guilty for this extended time away from writing - hence my blogging about it.
As I watch my fellow authors turn out book after book, my jealousy flares up - for about a minute. Then I take myself to the pool, swim a few laps, dive off the board once or twice just to prove I still can, then crawl out onto a hot lounge chair, a fluffy towel, soak up some rays and instantly I feel pretty darn good about myself and forget about being jealous of other's hard-earned writing succes. Last weekend my dh bought me a new bicycle, my first new bike in over 18 years! I've wanted a "cruiser" bike to take my dogs for a run in the mornings when the air is still cool. This morning I ran my dogs 8 miles (4 miles down & 4 miles back) on a quiet dirt road with only the local farmer's cows for witnesses. A golden ball of sun had just risen over dark green fields covered in light mist. Birds chirped in the trees overhead, my own private serenade to celebrate being alive.
So, why the guilty conscience? I'm not sure. Not many people live the wonderful life I do. Maybe it's my competitive nature. I *know* I'm blessed with so many things and I really *am* grateful. I have many talents, one of them being storytelling. I enjoy the process of creating characters and a plot that draws readers into my world. I love seeing my book on my publisher's website - what a THRILL! I love getting reviews, fan letters, and doing chats. When people ask me what I do, I really love telling them "I'm a writer". It's all good! But writing just to keep abreast with other authors is not what I want to do. I want to write for me, because the story inside me wants to be told, not squeezed out of me like an old tube of toothpaste.
Has my muse dried up? I don't truly think so, even though there are some days when I wonder if I'll ever write a story good enough to be published again. I prefer to think my muse (she has no name) has taken herself off on vacation for the summer, too. I don't mind her absence - for now - because I've got a horse waiting to gallop with me across the alfalfa field this afternoon. All too soon, the pool will close. As the days become shorter, darker and colder, rain and snow will be here, forcing me indoors. My laptop and no doubt - my muse - will be waiting there beside a steaming cup of coffee.
I'm going out now to enjoy the rest of this glorious, warm, sun-filled day. Hope you all get the chance to do the same. :-)