Monday, March 8, 2010

Decisions that shape your life

I posted this on another blog and got such interesting answers I thought I'd do it again.

Decisions, decisions, decisions !!

Do you remember the decisions that shaped your life? The decisions you yourself made, not the ones fate forced on you? Sometimes they stick in your memory forever, and often you don’t even notice their importance at the time.

I made one when I was sixteen, in high school and thrilled to pieces when a handsome hunk (hereafter known as HH) asked me to a school dance. You don’t really want to know how long ago that was, do you? I’d secretly drooled for weeks over this guy, and could hardly believe my good luck. Then, only a week before the big dance, my very favorite aunt died suddenly. She’d always been the mainstay of our small, fatherless family, coming to visit whenever her teaching job allowed her to help out. I quite simply adored her.

On top of the sorrow of her death, I learned her funeral would be the weekend of the prom. Services were to be in another part of the state, and in order to attend, you guessed it, I would miss the dance. My mother, bless her, left it entirely up to me. So I had to decide on my own what to do.

You can imagine how I was pulled in opposite directions. Finally, after much agonizing, I chose to attend the last services for Aunt Ella. HH took the news with polite acceptance, and you guessed it, I never heard from him again, except to pass him in the school corridors.

Was I surprised? No. Was I devastated? Pretty much. Although even underneath my regret I was proud I’d made the right and hard decision. Ella had changed my life for the better in so many small ways. I do think that decision helped shape me for the better. I’m so glad I didn’t go the selfish route, although at the time it was hard, hard, hard.

Now I’d love to have you tell me if you can remember your first difficult decision. How you responded? How old were you? Did you make the same choice you’d make today?

Come on, I’ve told all, now you tell me about yourself.


Cerise DeLand said...

Jean, loved your post.
Decisions I've made that changed my life.
Ah. The one that took the freelance writing job...instead of the teaching job.
It is what got me POST and SUN and NYT credentials.
A decision that today I am EXTREMELY satisfied with because it allows me to write. To write non-fiction.
And to write fiction.
With stellar cred.

jean hart stewart said...

Thanks for commenting, Cerise. So glad you made the decision you did and it turnes out so well.....Jean

Fran Lee said...

You should have invited the hh to attend her funeral with you. He probably didn't believe you stood him up to go to your aunt's wake. But then, you were probably far better off without him. You made the right decision.